It was a cold and rather bleak afternoon. The sun wasn't present nor was its’ warmth and all that you could see in the sky was clouds. I remember the school bus stopping three houses down from mine and the bus doors opening with a slight creek like that of an old wooden door in a rather aged home. I had gotten up out of my seat and grabbed my back pack with both hands which caused me to wobble a bit as I walked through the aisle of the bus toward the exit. I noticed the faces of the fellow passengers and for a second admired the differences of each individual and the unique expressions each one possessed. I usually don’t talk like that to people though for people think I over analyze or take simple things to a much further level than things ever should be brought down to; that’s what my mother always said. Leaving through the doorway was almost like a breath of fresh air for me for it felt like I was being freed from a jail cell.
As I got off the bus and made my way toward the sidewalk on the right side of the road, the bus pulled away making a similar sound to that of an inhaler being used but much louder. I walked down the sidewalk and noticed the lack of people outside. I saw a single bird fly through the sky but that was the only sign of life. The beauty of the bird was great however and I observed the way its’ wings flapped through the cold autumn air. Continuing to walk down the sidewalk, I noticed something a few feet in front of me. It was a key-chain with somebody’s car keys on it. Looking around and once again noticing the lack of people, I decided to pick up the keys and find its’ owner. I noticed that one of the keys seemed to have a sort of plastic lining on it which I thought was strange. I walked through the driveway of the house nearest that sidewalk. I arrived at the front door and knocked; almost immediately, a young lady with beautiful shoulder-length brown hair answered. I showed her the keys and asked her if they were hers.
She looked at me with the strangest look I ever did see and saying nothing whatsoever, she kindly reached for the keys. I released my grasp when she had hold of them for I figured that they belonged to her. I often assume things without thinking. This is something else that my mother gets mad at me about. The lady walked to the car in her driveway and it automatically unlocked. I saw that it was one of those keys that unlocked the car for you automatically without you having to put it in. As I walked closer toward the vehicle, I noticed that she was still staring at me. I then saw a figure in the back seat. As I neared the blue car, I saw that the figure was my own mother. Panic shot through me as I saw that she was lying down dead. I jumped into the vehicle and then everything went black.
“Nathanael. Nathanael!” I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in the North Crest Psychiatric Hospital and was a 40 year old man again. I was back. The nurse asked me if I was alright and although I felt sick to my stomach and had a killer migraine, I responded, “I’m alright I guess”. The nurse informed me that I had passed out in the T.V. room and had disassociated again. This wasn't anything new to me for people whom have witnessed tragic events often experience this. It’s almost an escape from reality although this wasn't much of an escape. I could still see those keys in my mind. The same thing I had seen right after my car flew off a bridge killing a beautiful lady below whom had been fishing with her son. I remember hearing her son yelling for his mother. That was the last thing I heard before I passed out in the vehicle that was half submerged. Pain like this doesn't leave you… I can’t stop hearing, “Mom!” My mother died when I was ten but had resembled the woman I killed. I almost feel like I murdered my own mother. When I try to sleep at night I can hear the kid again, “Mom! Mom!”
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