Your Worst Nightmare26 Feb, 2013 09:44 PM
I thought I'd bring a poem To explain my pain To show my emotions To let it bleed Bleed like my arms did Bleed like my heart did Bleed like my self made scars Bleed like my mind, which is just too tired to die For a long time now I was the bad ass girl The horror fanatic The reckless dangerous one I thought it was cool I thought it'd be fun But apparently I was wrong Everyday I come to school With a smile on my face As if every thing is okay Here, I am a girl who listens to heavy metal An obnoxious dumb bitch A bit popular But yet still, a nobody At home, I am also nobody Just a lonely depressed girl Just a paranoid freak Locking myself up, disconnecting myself from anyone, I'm so weak Yet my self esteem says That I'm smart Kind And funny I'm really thinking Fat Ugly Worthless Yet I'm still screaming Unwanted Unloved Unneeded I question my existence And I've thought about self harm But I'm too afraid I'm too much of a coward I'm just another attention whore A girl pleading for attention A poser A liar That's what they call me, right? No. That's what I call myself I can't even call it me It's her Two people, in my head Screaming at me, all the time Black, white Up, down Left, right A mental argument That I always lose Leaving scars and bruises Refusing to accept the truth My insanity My weakness My helplessness My pathetic-ness Yet as I sit in class Thinking about my past I realize, that I am nobody And that I don't matter That nobody cares That they're just pretending "You don't understand." they say But they don't know pain I am depressed I am heartbroken I am psychotic I'm broken. Just broken. I don't want friends I want to let go of my sorrow Drown in it if I have to Kill me now I want to give up Because I just can't take it Rain, just go away I can't take the pain today There's no one I can run to I'm just a ghost Running wild Leaving no trace behind If I went missing Would people care? Would they even notice That I wasn't there? No. Of course not. Don't start imagining things now You're still alone You're still no one You're still the freak Who listens to gothic piano Who hates herself, yet can't control her anger Who thinks of suicide, yet can't cut her own wrist You're still insane You've still got multiple people in your head You still talk to yourself Can't you die now? Can't you see no one loves you? You have no goals No hopes Nothing to look forward to Life is useless You don't belong here You might as well go You're a disgust to humans If only you hadn't been born If only you had self control If only you weren't so worthless If only you had a purpose But still, you are here Engulfed by darkness Scarred by love Killed by hope You are utterly disarranged By the stress of life I can't see the point of you You were just a mistake after all And now, with all your eyes on me You see, I'm not who I used to be You knew my name But not my story I try so hard To fit in I try so hard To smile To get up every morning And tell myself I'm fine To go to school And sit down and laugh and smile Yet, I'm just alone And scared And insane And in need of help My name is Julia. And that was my story. But please, when you see me Please don't say sorry. I don't want sympathy I don't want you to be kind I'll just stay as nobody As you all carry on your lives There is one thing That I must say None of you knew anything about me Until this day
Tags: Depression, Dark Thought, Sorrow, Suffering, Scar, Selfharm
21940 5 Post a Comment
Next Poem >>
You might also like
Prisoner - Afrin Farhana12073 1
My Demon - Angel39501 12
No Going Back - XxBlackRosexX20216 3
Monster inside of me - Dead Empty Soul25692 4
Kill Me - XxBlackRosexX23666 13
CommentsPost a Comment
15 Mar, 2013 03:45 AM
Our lives are very similar, in that I feel the same way. I want to, but I'm scared. I'm not sorry, I'm impressed. Bravo on the peom. It was brave of you to write it so raw, and its now one of my favorite poems. Well done.
08 May, 2013 02:07 AM
this is amazing honestly this is the best one i have read. so many of us feel this but dont know how to express it you did it perfectly
23 May, 2013 03:23 PM
one of the bravest poems i have read. just- wow. i feel like clapping though, not trying to give you pity; you don't want it or i think need it. best poem i have read as well as bravest.
28 Mar, 2014 04:56 AM
08 Sep, 2014 04:40 PM
wow loved the phone. in a sence this poem hit very close to home, felt as if i was writing it before me. simply wow..beautiful words. crazy as it is.. my name is also Julia. this poem brought tears to my eyes. unfortuantly I did do self harm. more then anyone should to their body. but anyway just had to comment.